This is a candid letter to my single sisters who want to please the Lord. From my heart to yours! May your heart find peace and contentment in these words. Fanchion K.
We as women move from our hearts and emotions. This is what makes us women. It is what makes the perfume of our femininity flow off of us and what attracts men. Without it we are mean, bitter and plain evil. Even though the fragrance of our femininity lies in our tender hearts and multiple emotions, it can also be our greatest enemy. Every attack against a woman begins with the enemy’s darts thrown at our hearts. Whether it is rejection from our parents, a man who thinks it’s ok to play with our hearts, or never good enough for other women. Today, I would like to help you take control of your emotions and rest in a content heart.
There is an innate need in every woman to love and nurture, however; we all long to be held, protected, and provided for as well. Sometimes this yearning and need is so great that you will settle and let down your standards just to pretend for a while with a guy you know has no intention of doing what is right about you. Yep we call them players but you knew when you walked into that relationship it was a game. Do not toil with your heart and emotions. You have to choose to love yourself enough to say no and to find happiness without a mate. And if your heart must chase after love please chase Jesus Christ. Pour all your love and affection on him and he will reciprocate in ways you never knew possible. He will hold you, protect you, and provide for you. Most men think its crazy for women to love Jesus like this but it’s because they do not work from the same place we do. You see we work from our hearts and where does Jesus live? Where do we feel him? There is no greater feeling than being in his presence. IF you can tap into him I promise you will find a place of contentment and peace that others won’t understand. You will not mope around unhappy, jealous of your friends who have found great men, and you wont be bitter. You will live with a smile on your face and a joy in your heart that even your married friends would envy. If you can find this place of contentment and peace it will help you to block the bozo and wait on the Boaz. No you don’t have to settle!!! God will show you to a man of God who will respect you, love you, and a man you can confidently allow to lead you. God will provide a man who will cherish you as the weaker vessel. But you have to become the type of woman this type of man would love. He’s not going to come while you are playing games with bozos. He is not going to come if you never learn to love yourself. He is not going to come if you can’t manage you! You see there is nothing more attractive than a woman who is confident, knows who she is and whose she is. Now let me give you a few steps to becoming a happy, content, peaceful, confident single-woman.
- Live for a greater purpose than a marital status. There is so much more to Life.
We are so consumed with being married and having someone until we never stop to consider that maybe God has a greater purpose for our lives. Some singles won’t get married until they find their purpose for living. Maybe you will realize that you have aimed too low. The call to marriage is the call to serve and help. If anything it will take from you more than it can give so you must already have a reservoir to serve from and that only comes through Jesus Christ.
I have come to peace with my wish for marriage. If it does not happen it is because I have greater purpose.
2.Pour your love and affection on Jesus Christ and submit to His will for your life.
Because we are creatures who live from the heart we must find ourselves in God’s presence everyday. When I went through my divorce, night times were the loneliest. Until one night when I entered that empty bedroom the Lord spoke to me. He said to spend the night with him like I would have done my husband. SO even to this day I look forward to the end of the day to wrap myself in the arms of Christ! He never rejects an opportunity to love His women.
3. Do not allow your heart to awaken until time
One valuable lesson God and my brothers taught me years ago is to never allow your spirit or heart to change by a man until he plainly states his intentions. Men are fickle. So I treat all people the same. This is difficult sometimes because being nice to guys sometimes give them the wrong impression. I’m still learning how to navigate the male and female platonic relationship. You see I grew up with four brothers so I can talk and hang out with men very comfortably. Everybody doesn’t understand that. As for the men I find myself attracted to I give those feelings to God and keep moving. It is not our job to awaken Adam, God will in His time. We must trust His will for our lives.
4. Trust God to fulfill your life.
We think we know what makes us happy but we don’t. It is God who has made us and not we our selves. If you can stop going before God telling him what we think we need and begin enjoying what he has supplied you will see him bring more into your life. Love is everywhere and maybe God is waiting on you to find love and happiness with what you have before he adds more. A lady’s heart full of love and happiness will draw another heart that is full of love and happiness. Be determined that your happiness is not centered around who is apart of your life and who is not. Fight with all your might to find happiness as you are and your life will change forever.
5. Find some great girlfriends and accountability partners
Because I am single and I do like men I keep some great girlfriends around that know all my business who will check me every time. They check me on who I am dating, why I am dating and to make sure I am honoring God in my dating. They check me when I am acting thirsty or desperate. They keep me focused and centered. My friends will tell me to get my head out the clouds and trust God. Every single girl needs a friend that will check her, pray with her and keep her accountable.
Leave a comment! Be Blessed!